hello again, because my other recovery post got so popular, i decided to do another one, with more photos, and with a little dialogue of my time with anorexia. and i will also answer some FAQ’s because ive been getting like 200 asks a day xD
so here it goes.
Even though the first pictures are from 2011, i have actually been diagnosed with anorexia since 2007, i was first admitted into hospital in 2007 at 14 years old, but i never took any photos at this point, i did manage to get well enough to leave hospital after a few years, but needless to say, things went downhill rather fast after discharge…so coming into the first photos at the beginning of 2011, i was at the worst i had ever been, at 6’2 at 63lbs, i was about to die, but i was adamant that i was fine, and refused to go back to hospital, but the mental health team were too worried about me, and put me under a section 3, and legally dragged me into hospital, which is the thing that saved my life, because the day after, when i was in a hospital ward, i went into heart failure, at this point my mum was phoned and told i might not make it, because though they pumped adrenaline into me, i was still in a coma from lack of blood sugar and stuff to keep my brain conscious, luckily, i woke, i was very very weak and frail still, i had tubes to feed me, tubes to take my wee(catheter), IV drips, and heart monitors. I couldnt move, i was literally not strong enough to swallow, i was like this for weeks, until my bloods had become stable enough for me to move to an Eating Disorders unit. I spent the best part over 2011 there, it wasnt fun, being watched peeing, pooping, sleeping, eating, breathing, no privacy whatsoever. but since i left over a year ago, i realised that freedom and living are more than enough to motivate me to be healthy, and you know what, im much happier now at 160lbs than i was 100lbs lighter…goes to show that anorexia only wants one thing, and that is to kill you, losing the weight doesnt make you happy, what makes you happy is living, enjoying things, and doing whatever the fuck you want to do without boundaries from a bitch inside your own head.
sorry that went on for quite a bit, but i just wanted to show you, life is amazing now, and will be for all you too, once you learn to battle anorexia and fight for you life!
now, listen here, recovering from an eating disorder, will be the hardest thing you ever have to do in your life, ever. i mean it, there will be so many times where you just want to give up, but dont, if you fall, you get back up and try again, falling is not failing, failing is giving up, if you fall 100 times, you get back up 101, it is possible to beat this illness, and you will. it might be hard, but i tell you, it is worth it, the enjoyment of life is a light at the end of this dark tunnel.
do not give up, ever. ever. never.
lots of love from matt :D <3
Ok so I don’t suffer from anorexia, yet I had a binging disorder for the past 4 years of my life. I mean it’s definitely totally different, but HE is such an inspiration. Honestly, to EVERYONE no matter if you have a binging disorder, depression, anxiety, etc. HE goes to show that life is a beautiful thing and can only get better from your lowest point. He is THE biggest motivator on tumblr and I am so happy that is scary as fuck anorexic pic alongside his glowing healthy picture was on my dashboard. I admire this guy. Thank you for this. I lovee youuu seriously.